The Fresh Start Illusion

Do you ever find yourself wishing for a fresh start A moment where you can
start a new

Do you wish for a day where your life will just magically turn around

I hate to be a bearer of bad news but fresh starts dont exist At least not
in the way most view them

Many of us live under the impression that changes begins tomorrow Instead of
focusing our energy on today we put our power on a shelf and just wait Instead
of creating we react

Instead of tuning in we tune out Rather than accepting what is we crave more
This creates a never ending cycle of full blown misery

A few weeks ago as my first semester of college began coming to a close I
found myself saying I cant wait until next semester it will be so much
better than now

It took me a while before I realized the error in my
thinking Whats stopping me from enjoying my classes now

Whats stopping me from finding the good in my current situation It turns out
my desire for a fresh start was preventing me from being content now

No one is immune

Fresh starts can be beneficial Its nice to sometimes have a clean slate to
work on

Its OK to be excited about your future and look to improve on your past
failuresThats one of the reasons I enjoy starting something new

Uncertainty is exciting But more often than not your old beliefs toward your
current reality quickly rot the fresh start in which you are given

Leaving you to want yet another and another and another

Im not saying you cant look forward to tomorrow Im not saying you cant look
forward to a certain future event Im not saying you cant look be excited for
the beginning of next month The problem begins when you become entirely
dependent on fresh starts

I cant be happy unless its Monday
I cant start new habits until January first
Ill be happy when I have a new job

Drop those excuses now

The truth is fresh starts are simply an illusion of our mind

The more you chase them the more stale they become Waiting for a fresh start is
like going fishing with no fishing pole

If you want to make changes in your behavior or turn your life around the time
to do so isnt next Monday or the beginning of the next month its now

A true fresh start begins in the moment Once you attach a future or past value
to the term it immediately becomes tainted by the events of uncertainty

Over the years Im made a lot of personal changes in my life

Ive began eating healthier writing more meditating regularly and have
reduced my negative thinking substantially

Yet none of them habits just appeared The changes occurred because I decided my
fresh start is always now The times I struggled were the times when I gave my
power away to anything but the present moment

The only fresh start is now Yet unfortunately many continue to believe that a
fresh start lies in some distant land

Waiting for a fresh start is putting your dreams on hold Its a rational at
least to our minds reason to procrastinate

If the conditions will be better tomorrow why not wait But the conditions are
never better tomorrow

As we all know that perfect day never comes Even with that knowledge many us
myself included delude ourselves into thinking we will have more power at some
later time

But when waiting for tomorrow we only weaken ourselves today which is the only
time change can really occur

When you turn your back on the moment you invite drama and unhappiness in your
life Youre telling your subconscious mind theres no point in being happy now
because you can be happy tomorrow

But by the time the fresh start appears it is already being spoiled by the
future and the past

Instead of giving your power away embrace it

You have capacity to turn your life around But only if you tune into the
freshness of now

Your fresh start begins today

in Uncategorized |

The Fresh Start Illusion

Do you ever find yourself wishing for a fresh start? A moment where you can  start a new? Do you wish for a day where your life will just magically turn around? I hate to be a bearer of bad news, but “fresh starts” don’t exist. At least not in the way most view them.

Many of us live under the impression that changes begins tomorrow. Instead of focusing our energy on today,  we put our power on a shelf and just wait. Instead of creating we react. Instead of tuning in, we tune out. Rather than accepting what is, we crave more. This creates a never ending cycle of full blown misery.

A few weeks ago, as my first semester of college began coming to a close, I found myself saying, ” I can’t wait until next semester, it will be so much better than now.” It took me a while before I realized the error in my thinking. What’s stopping me from enjoying my classes now? What’s  stopping me from finding the good in my current situation? It turns out my desire for a fresh start was preventing me from being content now.  No one is immune.

Fresh starts can be beneficial. It’s nice to sometimes have a clean slate to work on. It’s OK to be excited about your future and look to improve on your past failures. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy starting something new. Uncertainty is exciting. But more often than not your old beliefs toward your current reality quickly rot the fresh start in which you are given. Leaving you to want yet another, and another.. and another..

I’m not saying you can’t look forward to tomorrow. I’m not saying you can’t look forward to a certain future event. I’m not saying you can’t look be excited for the beginning of next month. The problem begins when you become entirely dependent on fresh starts.

“I can’t be happy unless it’s Monday.

“I can’t start new habits until January first..”

“I’ll be happy when I have a new job.”

Drop those excuses now.

The truth is, fresh starts are simply an illusion of our mind. The more you chase them the more stale they become. Waiting for a fresh start is like going fishing with no fishing pole. If you want to make changes in your behavior or turn your life around, the time to do so isn’t next Monday, or the beginning of the next month, it’s now.

A true fresh start begins in the moment. Once you attach a future or past value to the term, it immediately becomes tainted by the events of uncertainty.

Over the years I’m made a lot of personal changes in my life. I’ve began eating healthier, writing more, meditating regularly, and have reduced my negative thinking substantially. Yet none of them habits just appeared. The changes occurred because I decided my fresh start is always now. The times I struggled were the times when I gave my power  away to anything but the present moment.

The only fresh start is now. Yet unfortunately, many continue to believe that a fresh start lies in some distant land.

Waiting for a fresh start is putting your dreams on hold. It’s a rational (at least to our minds) reason to procrastinate. If the conditions will be better tomorrow why not wait? But the conditions are never better tomorrow. As we all know that perfect day never comes. Even with that knowledge many us, (myself included) delude ourselves into thinking we will have more power at some later time. But when waiting for tomorrow, we only weaken ourselves today, which is the only time change can really occur.

When you turn your back on the moment you invite drama and unhappiness in your life. You’re telling your subconscious mind there’s no point in being happy now because you can be happy tomorrow. But by the time the fresh start appears it is already being spoiled by the future and the past.

Instead of giving your power away, embrace it.  You have capacity to turn your life around. But only if you tune into the freshness of now.

Your fresh start begins today.

5 Powerful Lessons I Learned From A Facebook Fast

Some time ago I decided to go cold turkey and give up Facebook for a month and
half

Being the typical college student I found that I spent a great deal of time on
the social networking platform usually chatting with friends keeping in touch
with relatives or finding reasons not to do work or study

Usually the latter

Having become attached to Facebook over the past few years I thought it would
be an interesting experiment to go on a Facebook fast

To make sure I succeeded in my own personal challenge I had a good buddy of
mine change my password so I was not able to cheat

I know its pretty depressing I had to go to those lengths however I was
fully committed to pulling it off

I began my Facebook fast late September and ended it on November 1st

For such a a simple experiment I did have my share of insights as a result
Here are some of the things I learned

Time wasters are everywhere

In an increasingly electronic world there is an abundance of time wasters
everywhere

Things such as online games movies and television consume vast amounts of our
time

It doesnt matter which form you pursue there will will always be something that
can keep you entertained for hours on end

Having no access to Facebook I unfortunately still found my free time shifting
to other mindless activities

In this day and age we are constantly challenged to remain focused on the task
at hand which I admit is not easy

While giving up Facebook did increase my productivity in some regards I still
found myself wasting a fair amount of time on meaningless tasks With Facebook
gone I spent a lot of time playing computer games with some of my friends on my
dorm floor

Clearly I need to continue to develop my self control as there will continue to
be distractions that I must stay clear from The Facebook fast did wonders for
my awareness on this issue

We are social creatures

One of the reasons Facebook is so addicting is because it partly satisfies our
need to be social As human beings we are inherently social creatures and
Facebook helps relieve this desire

With millions online at any given time Facebook offers an effortless way to
connect with someone in an instant

While Facebook is undoubtedly a useful tool at keeping in touch and maintaining
a solid connection many often choose to go overboard

It is imperative that our desire to be social be met with a mature blend of self
restraint

Looking back its almost pathetic at how attached Ive become to Facebook and
social media in general At the same time I feel social networking is immensely
valuable as well Finding the middle ground is something that we must all do

Social media can be addicting

Put simply social networking can be addicting and should not be taken
lightly

Online relationships are in no way shape or form a supplement for real life
experience A fair amount of individuals confuse their online life with their
real one which unfortunately hinders their ability to truly connect

Social media gives an immense amount of power which can often get to our heads
Never before have we had the ability to connect with so many people so easily

Online social media is only the beginning Authentic relationships must extend
into a physical form

While I have made my fair share of relationships through an online medium I
much prefer a real life connection

It is important that we remind ourselves that social media is only one way to
connect not the only way to connect Taking time off Facebook gave me some much
needed perspective on the issue

The real world is nice

While I do gain pleasure connecting with people through an online medium
nothing beats real life experience While this statement appears to be common
sense I cannot tell you how many people fail to live this one out

Without Facebook I didnt have a crutch to initiate relationships so I found
myself to be a bit more outgoing Instead of simply adding a person I knew on
Facebook I had to go and talk face to face

Rather than sitting in my room connecting online I found myself more and more
involved with people in real life This is something I could get used to

Because we often get caught up in our online reality we often forget how
magnificent the real world really is

If youre important people will find a way to reach you

One of the more pleasant surprises of giving up Facebook was I was still able to
maintain my most prized relationships for the most part

While there were a few that suffered due to living in different countries I
definitely kept in contact with people that meant the most to me

This just reassured to me that idea of if you are important to someone you will
be able to keep in contact regardless of the medium

While Facebook certainly makes contact easier at times there are plenty of
other ways to connect as well

I normally dont talk on the phone very much but my phone usage was way up this
past month

Self control

What habits have you become a slave to Could you give up Facebook or Twitter
for a month

Far too many people let their daily habits control them rather than the other
way around It only takes some conscious effort to realize that we are in
complete control of our lives

I invite you to challenge yourself in some area of your life I know giving
up Facebook was a great lesson for me and Id happily do it again in a year or
so

in Uncategorized |

5 Powerful Lessons I Learned From A Facebook Fast

Some time ago I decided to go cold turkey and give up Facebook for a month and half. This decision was largely a result of reading Glen’s personal challenge post over at PluginID. Yes I’m a thief 😉

Being the typical college student, (or rather any one of the  80 million users of Facebook), I found that I spent a great deal of time on the social networking platform: usually chatting with friends, keeping in touch with relatives, or finding reasons not to do work or study.

Having become attached to Facebook over the past few years, I thought it would be an interesting experiment to go on a Facebook fast. To make sure I succeeded in my own personal challenge, I had a good buddy of mine change my password so I was not able to cheat. I know.. it’s pretty depressing I had to go to those lengths, however I was fully committed to pulling it off. I began my Facebook fast late September and ended it on November 1st.

For such a  a simple “experiment” I did have my share of insights as a result. Here are some of the things I learned.

Time wasters are everywhere:

In an increasingly electronic world, there is an abundance of time wasters everywhere. Things such as online games, movies, and television consume vast amounts of our time. It doesn’t matter which form you pursue there will will always be something that can keep you “entertained” for hours on end. Having no access to Facebook, I unfortunately  still found my free time shifting to other mindless activities.

In this day and age we are constantly challenged to remain focused on the task at hand, which I admit is not easy. While giving up Facebook did increase my productivity in some regards, I still found myself wasting a fair amount of time on meaningless tasks. With Facebook gone, I spent a lot of time playing computer games with some of my friends on my dorm floor.

Clearly I need to continue to develop my self control as there will continue to be distractions that I must stay clear from. The Facebook fast did wonders for my awareness on this issue.

We are social creatures:

One of the reasons Facebook is so “addicting” is because it partly satisfies our need to be social. As human beings, we are inherently social creatures and Facebook helps relieve this desire. With millions online at any given time Facebook offers an effortless way to connect with someone in an instant.

While Facebook is undoubtedly a useful tool at keeping in touch and maintaining a solid connection, many often choose to go overboard. It is imperative that our desire to be social be met with a mature blend of self restraint.

Looking back it’s almost pathetic at how attached I’ve become to Facebook and social media in general. At the same time I feel social networking is immensely valuable as well. Finding the middle ground is something that we must all do.

Social media can be addicting:

Put simply.. social networking can be addicting, and should not be taken lightly.  Online relationships are in no way shape or form a supplement for real life experience. A fair amount of individuals confuse their online life with their real one, which unfortunately hinders their ability to truly connect.

Social media gives an immense amount of power which can often get to our heads. Never before have we had the ability to connect with so many people so easily. Online social media is only the beginning. Authentic relationships must extend into a physical form.

While I have made my fair share of relationships through an online medium, I much prefer a real life connection. It is important that we remind ourselves that social media is only one way to connect not the only way to connect. Taking time off Facebook gave me some much needed perspective on the issue.

The real world is nice:

While I do gain pleasure connecting with people through an online medium, nothing beats real life experience. While this statement appears to be common sense, I cannot tell you how many people fail to live this one out.

Without Facebook I didn’t have a crutch to initiate relationships, so I found myself to be a bit more outgoing. Instead of simply adding a person I knew on Facebook, I had to go and talk face to face. Rather than sitting in my room connecting online, I found myself more and more involved with people in real life. This is something I could get used to 🙂

Because we often get caught up in our online reality,
we often forget how magnificent the real world really is.

If you’re important people will find a way to reach you:

One of the more pleasant surprises of giving up Facebook was I was still able to maintain my most prized relationships for the most part. While there were a few that suffered due to living in different countries, I definitely  kept in contact with people that meant the most to me.

This just reassured to me that idea of if you are important to someone you will be able to keep in contact, regardless of the medium. While Facebook certainly makes contact easier at times , there are  plenty of other ways to connect as well.

I normally don’t talk on the phone very much but my phone usage was way up this past month.

Self control:

What habits have you become a slave to? Could you give up Facebook or Twitter for a month? Far too many people let their daily habits control them rather than the other way around. It only takes some conscious effort to realize that we are in complete control of our lives.

I invite you to challenge yourself in some area of your life. 🙂 I know giving up Facebook was a great lesson for me and I’d happily do it again.. in a year or so 😉

P.S If you happen to use Mac I highly recommend  the free application called ” Self Control” 🙂