How do you get what you want in life? You live with authority. You make every action count. You chase your bliss until you find it. It’s not always easy living with authority in a world where many are timid and weak, but when you live with conviction everything seems to fall into place.
When you remind yourself that everyone has fears and a bucket load of insecurities, it’s easier to blaze a path for yourself and create the world that you desire. Feeling weak and insecure shouldn’t stop you from expressing who you really are.
The following are some simple yet particularly powerful words to live by.
Ask For What You Want:
Sounds simple, but how many times do you really ask for what you want on a daily basis? Many times we sacrifice our wants to be seen as a hero in the real world when in reality it does nothing of the sort. If you want something ask for it. Obviously, there’s a fine line between being obnoxious and letting your desires be known, but there’s no reason you can’t let people know what it is that you want.
I’ve been a people pleaser for much of my life so I’ve sometimes struggled with letting people know what I want. What if I’m seen as selfish? It’s OK… my wants aren’t that big of a deal etc. At an individual level there seems like nothing wrong with that but if you’re not careful it continues to balloon until you’re a doormat that everyone stomps on.
If you want to see some extra effort in a relationship speak up. If you feel you deserve a raise, let your boss know. Not everyone is attuned to reading minds, so the longer you keep quiet the less likely the chance of you being completely satisfied.
Often times we are afraid that people will say no, but all too conveniently forget that if we never ask the default answer is no.
Bottom Line: Want something? Ask for it.
Make Mistakes With Conviction
When you walk a path of greatness it’s only a matter of time before you screw up. Accept your shortcomings, apologize if in the rare case it’s necessary, and move on. I’m serious. Do it.
I’m certainly for making amends when they are due, but a fair amount of people over extend their apology because they actually had the guts to take a risk. Don’t be one of those people.
Stop feeling sorry for being human. Stop thinking you’re the only one who’s ever made a fool of themselves. Be real with your limitations but don’t let them define you.
One of the best ways to be stuck in rut for what seems like eternity is to continue to apologize for a mistake you made years ago. Again, I’m not suggesting you don’t own up to your actions, but there’s a point when you must turn the page.
Bottom Line: By owning your mistakes with conviction you ensure that they don’t own you. If you’re not making mistakes you’re not trying hard enough.
Give Give Give:
Good news. You can be a selfish bastard and still make the world a better place. How you might ask? By giving freely.
Paying it forward is one of the most powerful social phenomena today, and you can’t argue with the results.
Don’t know how?
Start with: Anything I can help with? You look like you need to talk.. what’s on your mind? You OK?
Just be friendly! Go the extra mile.
When you help people without the expectation of getting anything in return it’s only a matter of the time before the karmic universe returns the favor. Maybe it takes some time for the goodwill to be returned, but it always is trust me.
Ever heard of boom boom cards? If not, you have now. This crazy cool idea, which I wish I thought of myself, involves a deck of trading cards with amazing life changing ideas on each one. Sometimes it’s as simple as ” give a stranger a hug” other times it involves ” forgiving yourself.” After you complete the random act of kindness, you give the card to the person with they hope that they will continue moving forward. I used a deck in high school and it was amazing to see the difference the cards made.
Giving freely not only makes you feel better but raises the vibration of all of those you touch.
Bottom Line: You know what to do.
Own Your Crafts:
What are you good at? Let it be known. Don’t mistake this with being cocky but at the same time don’t hide behind your greatness just because it makes you uncomfortable.
I myself have struggled with this, especially in some social situations, because I’m a relatively laid back guy. For example, I rarely talk about my blog, or readership with a person until I really get to know them.
Part of me feels awkward about sharing my personal development journey with my peers especially because I’m just as fault worthy as them. There’s a notion that just because I share my journey on blog that I have everything figured out myself which obviously isn’t the case.
There is there’s nothing to be ashamed about if you’re following your passion or if you’re exceptional at your craft. Embrace it. Go all in. Continue to find tune your world everyday.
If you’ve read Malcom Gladwell’s Outliers, you know that being extraordinary takes a lot of hard work. Reward yourself for your efforts.
Bottom Line: Stop selling yourself short. Embrace the gifts you’ve both earned and toned. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Have A Purpose Behind What You Do:
One of my favorite quotes is, “A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.” This can relate to actions as well. If you live with authority you don’t waste your time taking action for the sake of action.
You choose your activities based on what makes the most sense at the time. If you find yourself wandering for a prolonged period of time, take a look back at where you’re aiming, and return back to your chosen path.
Take a moment each day to consciously pay attention to your actions. Are they benefiting you? Or are they inspired by fluff?
If you’re driven by a deep purpose you’re much more likely to succeed then if you’re aiming blindly for the home run. Having a purpose won’t guarantee your success but it sure as hell increases your chances.
Are you living with authority? Or are you waiting for the starts to align? While you wait, paths of greatness are being paved.
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
I particular like the section around owning your craft. For a long time I only blogged about my personal development journey and never talked to anyone about.
Now I am gradually turning that around. Just yesterday I showed one of my co workers my blog and showed him the awesome testimonials I have got.
I think comes back to getting about truly being yourself all the time.
Hey Jarrod: As I mentioned I’ve been in a similar boat. Yet what I’ve discovered is that the more you openly share your path the more help comes back to you.
I really agree with all of those, especially the first one. Kind of like a personal rule. Helps you keep stretching.
Life is all about stretching.
You know what I’ve learned Bud? Personal development and positive attitude is selfish, but it’s selfish in a good way.
“What if I’m seen as selfish?” I’ve learned to say, so what. Yes it’s a hurdle, but making ourselves better is really the only thing that will make the world better. All change starts inside us. Cheers!
Good point Josh. It’s a matter of finding balance between your selfishness. Preferably we should get what we want while we help others get what they want.
I could use work on all of these. Thanks a ton for a fantastic post, Bud!
Glad I could help Mark.
Hey Bud, didn’t think you were still blogging here. Evidently you are.
Yeah man! I’m back for good.
If we allow ourselves to be more selfish as JOsh said. We can achieve more and see ourselves as most important an dput our intentions to better people. Rather than wanders without goals of our own.
Totally agree with the first point. “Ask For What You Want”. A good read overall.
Keep up the good work.