It has been almost a month since I last posted here A Boundless World:
I could attribute my lack of posts to many things. Too much schoolwork, not enough time, college applications, the lazy factor, the list goes on and on. I could grab a handful of excuses from an abundant stockpile, and convince my conciseness I’m only human.
That would be easy enough. I could hold myself too a lower standard of living, one of merely existing. I could continue to put off the things I love. Exercising, blogging, socializing, spending time with family, and continue to wallow in an unmotivated state, going absolutely nowhere.
But that’s not who I am. Yet unfortunately for the past few weeks, I did fall into that state of mind, literally coming home from school, studying (procrastinating), and then going to bed. I kept telling myself, that I would do all the things I wanted to do if only the conditions were right.
For four weeks the checks and balance system inside my head, failed to raise a red flag in my way of thinking. Consciously I knew that I shouldn’t continue waiting for the “perfect” day to do all the things I needed to do, yet there I fond myself continuing to wait.
While waiting, I found my self-being unusually unhealthy. Staying up late doing absolutely nothing of good use, eating multiple pints of ice cream in one sitting (talking 1500 calories.)Not doing pushups and sit-ups like I normally do. Failing to improve myself on a daily basis all because I was under the illusion I would be rescued by a single perfect day.
Guess what?
The perfect day never came; only recently did I wake up and become aware of my error in thinking. Waiting for a day that never came, made me depressed. I knew that if I didn’t change something, soon I would continue to move further and further away from the individual I hope to become.
You see regardless of all the things that have left me feeling overwhelmed, I have no excuse, for not continuing to write my blog, for not exercising, for not spending enough time with my family. I
knew my ways were wrong, yet I lacked the will power to take action. Many of us fall into this trap. We know what were doing is wrong yet we continue to do it. Why?
Because many us believe it is ok to quit on ourselves, we think it’s ok to sell our self short. I would lay awake at night, meditating on all the things I wanted to do, all the things I wanted to talk about, and on and on and on, yet I failed to put these ideas into place, something that is essential in creating change.
You can think all you want, but it is the action that implements the thought.
The irony of this all, is we just completed Hamlet in my literature class. We spent a couple of weeks examining Hamlet in depth. “Who cares about Hamlet” I often caught myself thinking.
He can’t take action. So what?
Then one day, a comment from my friend, hit me like a rapier. “Bud your Hamlet” he exclaimed. Laughing, I continued on my day. But those words just kept ringing in my head.
Was I Hamlet? I found myself not caring about Hamlet, did that mean I did not care about myself?
That night, I went home and reflected on what my friend said, and I came to the conclusion he was right. I had been so caught up in myself that I didn’t even realize the error in my ways. I got so far ahead of myself with my concepts and my ideas; I forgot the most basic part, taking action.
I don’t think my friend knew his comment would fuel me, but it most surely did, for it opened my eyes, and made me evaluate myself in an honest fashion.
Since having my epiphany of sorts, I have been attempting to slowly implement some positive habits into my life. From my previous experience I now know, that a perfect day will not come. I have fallen into this trap multiple times, for example when I procrastinated in starting my blog.
So instead I am choosing to focus my energy and direction into small steps today rather than bulk tomorrow. In terms of my health and exercise, I have begun eating healthier and I have already begun to feel the difference in my energy levels. Not only have I been eating healthier I have been watching what I eat as well. No more late night freezer raids resulting in pints of Ben and Jerry’s S’mores ice cream being consumed. : D
I also recently purchased an exercise film, in hopes of establishing a routine, to keep my body in tiptop shape. I’m still sore from one of the videos I did two days ago, which I think is a good sign. Another habit in which I have paid special attention to is the organization of my room. I have found that the neater it is, the more productive I become.
Yes I know, the only thing I have to clean is my desk, as my room is cleaned by my lovely maid Dolly (bless her heart) but none the less I have put special effort into keeping my desk er room clean. In terms of blogging I now hope to spit out a good 3 or 4 articles a week.
I think that is realistic in regards to my goals, so I’m hoping to implement that. One month without blogging, regardless of me being busy is unacceptable. That will not happen again. Although I still have a ways to go in terms of bonding with my family, having made tremendous leaps in other area’s of my life, I’m in no rush.
These past few weeks have been a disaster from a productivity standpoint, but from a personal development standpoint it has been rich in lessons. It’s essential that we stay focused on our goals. But most importantly we must strive to take action each and every day. What are you waiting for?
Begin that 10-page essay. Complete that to do list. Implement a new positive habit. Go for that run. Clean your room. The world doesn’t need another Hamlet. Quit waiting for that perfect day. Trust me it never comes.
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