Growing up, I always used to be the kid that others came to for advice. I’m not sure why I wore the advice giving hat, but it was a position I rather enjoyed.
At first, I sucked at giving advice. I rehashed the same cliche solutions to life’s complex problems. But as I grew older, I continued to refine my approach to a point where I felt comfortable with sharing my view.
I certainly don’t have every inch of my life painting sketched out, but I do know how valuable another perspective can be.
If you’re ever in the rewarding position of people looking to hear what you have to say, it’s important that you make the most of your point of view. Here’s how.
Only If They Ask
The best advice is given only when asked for. Not everyone wants to hear what you have to say, and imposing your view forcefully quite often backfires.
I’ve given my fair share of unsolicited advice, and it wasn’t always well received. Sure sometimes, it worked out but that was likely an exception.
When advice is requested, as opposed to forced, it stands a significantly better chance of being acted upon, which is what you want right?
I’ve discovered when talking with my brother when he comes to me first, he’s much more likely to listen to what I have to say.
It’s obviously sometimes difficult to bite your tongue, especially if you particularly care for your friend or family member in need. But if your opinion is needed it should be requested.
Give advice only when it’s asked for. Simple as that.
Empower The Receiver
When voicing you’re opinion, choose to empower the person receiving your message. They aren’t dumb, or incapable, just stuck. It’s sometimes easy to lose sight of that.
Ask questions, and let them answer truthfully. Offer different perspectives and outcomes, and let them think those through. Refuse to talk down to them no matter how simple the alleged solution may be. What’s common to you, may not be common to the rest of the world.
Ultimately it’s their life not yours. Your opinion may matter, but only to a certain degree.
Speak your mind, and let them have the final say. No ” you have to do this..” needed.
A Simple Test
Next time you’re giving advice require it pass a simple test: Would I follow the advice I’m about to give?
If the answer is no, you’re not giving advice. Instead you’re wasting everyones time.
The trick to giving good advice is knowing when you’re full of shit.
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