In an ideal world every special connection we create would last forever. Our best friend from third grade? Friends for life. Our first roommate? Always just a call away. First true love? A place where love never dies.

As much as I would enjoy for that to be the case, that’s simply not how our dynamic human relationships work.

Having moved around quite a bit in my young life, I’ve had the privilege of making friends, of varying connections, from all over the world. Some have been deeper in nature, and others less intimate, but each have affected me to varying degrees.

I’m certainly not the first person to say this, but our relationships no matter how stable they appear, are anything but. You may think that nothing changes, but with each day you experience a tremendous amount of growth. Thus it’s only natural to expect your views to change as well.

Many of us have a habit of looking at our relationships from a perspective of the past; that is we cling to what our connection used to be. That’s not a bad thing per se, but often times it ends up causing more harm that good.

One of the hardest things regarding relationships, for me that is, is seeing old relationships crumble. I’ve had a great deal of experience of out growing relationships but I’d be lying if I said it was easy to deal with.

The truth is, it’s difficult to let go of a connection we’ve come accustomed to. It’s difficult to say goodbye to someone who helped mold you into the person you currently are. Having recently seen some of my own relationships dwindle, I can certainly relate. It may be weird to think how things can change in what appears to be an instant, but that doesn’t change the fact that they do.

Too often we get caught up in the wonders of the past and forget to realize the same wonders are available to us right now. It’s taken me a while to completely grasp this concept, but as the saying goes “with every closed door a window opens.” So don’t forget to look around. If you’re too busy trying to open a locked door you miss the beauty right out side the pane glass window.

One thing I see many people do, and I’m often guilty of myself, is that when a relationship changes, we tend to blame ourselves.

When out growing a certain relationship it’s important to stay positive about the experience. You can bitch and whine all you want but that won’t change the outcome of the situation. If a relationship you once had is currently incompatible it’s OK to let go.

It’s far too easy to blame others for the results of growing. Don’t walk that path.

“He’s changed so much.”
“She’s not the person I used to know.”
“If only they hadn’t joined that crowd.”

These assumptions are often irrational when looking from a birds point of view. Is it possible that everyone involved changed?

You can fret all you want about why things shouldn’t have changed. You can cling to past moments that will never again be shared. Or you can accept the fact that people, relationships, grow a part.

I’ll be the first to admit it isn’t always effortless accepting that fact. I know because I’ve have to come to grip with my own reality on several occasions, but wallowing in what was only prevents you from experiencing what is.

If you try to force a relationship to fit the bill of what it used to be you’re changing the relationship entirely, which only moves you further from your original intent.

Relationships and force are not compatible.

If you and your current lover out grow each other don’t pretend like you’re living 10 years ago. Accept the new arrangement and salvage what you can. If you and your life long best friend no longer get along don’t pretend like you do.

I’ve tried to force things into the way it used to be, and without fail it’s always ended in disaster. Instead of trying to remold your current situation realize that with growth comes shedding. I’m not suggesting you not fight for a connection you deem worthy, but at least have the courage to let go when your new path is increasingly clear. It’s only natural for your interests and hobbies to change and so to will your social circle, don’t reject the inevitable.

One of the worst things you can do, is prolong a relationship just for the sake of comfort. Not only does that prevent you from making new and perhaps richer connections, it’s also no fun for the people involved. I know letting go can be difficult,  but the more you learn to accept that letting go is a part of life, the better you become at dealing with the emotions associated in doing so.

While you are responsible for your own reality, don’t beat yourself over losing a particular connection. Life would be boring if you had the same dozen relationships all throughout your life. Only by moving on and initiating new contacts can you call upon the excitement you seek.

When you view your connections from an empowering new perspective you’re often able to dive deeper than you originally thought. Each relationship you have regardless of length is of great benefit to you, but no relationship is infallible.

Of course Joe has changed. Of course Hannah is no longer her 10 year old self. But neither are you the same person you once were.

Are your relationships as they should be? Or are have you having trouble accepting what is?

To out grow gracefully you must first accept what is. Only then will your world begin to move.

Post from: A Boundless World

How To Outgrow Relationships Gracefully

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I apologize for the delay in posting the review. I originally had planned do a recap after each day (it was a three day conference), however after finding out the hotel charges 15 dollars a day for internet, I decided against it. This worked out well because the conference was packed with information so waiting has given me a week or so to completely digest the experience.

Why did I attend?

I’ve received a few email’s asking why I decided to attend. I’ve been a big fan of Steve’s blog for a while now, reading him on and off for the past 2 years. I found his website soon after the death of my friend and it gave me plenty to contemplate while helping me cope with my loss. I also resonated with his idea of oneness and how we are really all one. His article The Meaning of Life really got me thinking. Because I’ve liked much of what he writes about I decided I’d make the trip to Vegas to hear his principles in person. I had originally planned to attend the first CGW but I unfortunately would then miss a bunch of class. Lucky for me, the second workshop was scheduled just a few days before I had to go back to school, so I figured it was meant to be.

Before The Conference:

The conference began on Friday morning but I flew into Vegas Thursday night. My cousin who lives in San Francisco decided to come to Vegas to hang out with me for the weekend which turned out to be a lot of fun. Although she didn’t go to the conference, we explored some Vegas shows together at night ( I loved the Lion King). When I arrived Thursday night I spent some time just walking up and down the strip taking in the scenes of Vegas. I also stopped in on the meet up at a local cafe which I found to be very cool. The energy of everyone was extremely upbeat. It was also nice to meet several of the attendee’s who I had already spoken to via Twitter of Facebook.

Day 1

Going in to Day 1 I was somewhat nervous. Out of the 100 or so attende’s I was one of the youngest ( There was also another attendee who was also 18 but for the most part everyone was in their late 20′s or early 30′s.) It was definitely interesting to see the wide range of people who attended. To name a few groups, there were raw foodists, entrepreneurs, and people interested in physic development. There was also plenty of diversity in terms of spiritual beliefs of the group which I found to be refreshing and thought provoking.

During Day 1 Steve gave an in-depth overview of the 7 principles in his book. For anyone who has ever read the books these principles should be fairly familiar. For those have not yet read the book I’ll give a brief summary of the principles.

Love: Love extends further than just being an emotion. Having love in your life means being able to connect and communicate effectively as well as being open to making new and lasting relationships. Those who lack love surround themselves with people who bring them down  rather than help them be the person they know they are meant to be. If you are in alignment with love your social circle is a source of energy rather than a place

Truth: Truth is being willing to admit and accept your current situation as is.  Are you happy with your job? Your relationship? Truth means accepting your reality even if you’re not happy with it. The idea behind truth is you can’t move on unless you’re willing to accept what is. Turning your back on truth means inviting false hood and denial. You have to be able to recognize where you really are before you can get to where you want to be.

Power: Do you have the ability to create the reality you desire? Power means being able to consciously and deliberately create the world around you. Are you living the life you want? Or do you allow your relationships  and circumstances dicate how you live? Power involves courage and taking action to bring you closer to your goals.

As shown in the photo, the three principles also go on to create other sub principles.  They are courage, authority, and oneness.

Courage: Courage is created from combining the principles of Love and Power. Simply put, courage is taking risks. Courage is about facing your fears head on rather than running from them.

Authority: Authority is created from combining Power and Truth. Authority is the perfect combination of action and knowledge. Too much action with out knowledge will only lead you in circles, whereas too much knowledge without action is only setting yourself up for routine failure.

Oneness: Oneness is the result of both Truth and Love. The idea of oneness states that we are only part of an entire whole. Oneness means contributing to humanity rather than simply living from a  moocher mindset. The idea of oneness states that the more you help others the more help you receive in return.

All 6 of the principles add up to create the 7th principle Intelligence. Are you living an intelligent life? Assuming your daily life is congruent with truth, love, and power it’s safe to say you’re living an intelligent life.

Overall I found Day 1 to be very helpful. While I didn’t learn anything new per se it was nice hearing Steve talk about his principles in person. I also found the various exercises we did throughout the day to be very valuable, especially the exercises that required us to step out of our comfort zone ( dancing on stage during break for example.)

Day 2 and Day 3

While day 1 was an overview of the principles Day’s 2 and 3 took a more in depth look at the principles and how they apply to our everyday lives. On day 2 we talked about career and finances as well as habits and during day 3 we covered relationships, skill building, and health. Going into each of these areas in depth was extremely helpful for it gave one a more complete picture of how the principles relate to our lives. During each section Steve gave us time to contemplate where we currently stood in each area and allowed for us to write down ways for us to improve. Doing this greatly enhanced my clarity in terms of where I was and where I wanted to be.

Throughout the workshop Steve used the analogy of Planet A and Planet B. Planet A is where you are right now, and planet B is where you want to be. In order to reach planet B you must first accept that you are actually on Planet A, doing so requires Truth. Also to get from Planet A to Planet B you must surrond yourself with people who will help love and nurture you thus the principle of Love. When you surrond yourself with people who inspire you it allows for you to give more back to humanity. Being stuck on your planet A isn’t going to do anyone any good. Getting from Planet A to Planet B also requires power. Can you take action to where you will reach where you want to go? Will you show courage and take risks? I found the Planet A and Planet B analogy to be very beneficial in terms of getting clear on where I want to be.

Social Connections

By far the greatest aspect of the conference was the networking I was able to do. The energy of the group was just amazing. I grew  a tremendous amount by just going around the room and introducing myself. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t intimidated at first,  but as the workshop went on I found myself more and more comfortable. The group was incredibly accepting and supportive as was shown when individuals shared their hearts on the stage. I was amazed at the amount of hugs given out.

Out of the 100 or so attendee’s I expect to stay in good contact with at least a quarter of the group. I throughly enjoyed meeting everyone and hearing their own story. During the conference I also had several people come up to me to tell me that they read my blog, which just amazed me. While I love receiving emails from my readers it was neat to just connect with a few of my readers in person. I even had one person compliment me on the work I did on Reality Switch (an e-book I coauthored with Glen Allsop.) I’d like to say that was the highlight of my trip.

Having the opportunity to meet so many remarkable people reminded me  how  amazing relationships can be. Far too often we under estimate how important our relationships really are. I even recived several hugs from KB and Crystal Silver.

Transformations

Unlike some of the other attendees, I didn’t have any major breakthroughs during the conference, however the workshop did give me a little kick in the rear to get going. Heading into the workshop I had a reasonable idea of where I wanted to go with my life so my attending simply reaffirmed what I already knew.There are a few things that I know I need to work on especially in the area of relationships and health but nothing substantial.  Being around so many amazing people definitely raised my energy levels so for that I’m extremely grateful.  It’s still far to early for me to say any of any long term impact of attending the conference but I’m definitely  glad I went. The workshop did make me realize how important it is to surrond yourself with people who are going to help you reach your goals and give more back to humanity.

Las Vegas

This was my first time in Vegas and I can definitely see myself going back, but probably not until I turn 21. I’m a big fan of blackjack so I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to play (being that I’m 18.) Although I was able to sneak in a few dollars on the slots.

While there I stayed at the MGM Grand one of the few hotels that allows 18 year olds to check in. They hotel was on the opposite side of the Flamingo so each morning I had a bit of a walk which I didn’t mind one bit. I really enjoyed the walks up and down strip as I spent most of the time people watching.

While in Vegas I also went to see the Lion King with my cousin which was an absolutely AMAZING show. If you ever make it out to Vegas I highly recommend seeing it. The food in Vegas was a bit step but everything else was top notch.

My stay in Vegas was a good one (Coming home from the airport not so much.)

Overview: Should You Attend?

For 500 dollars (as well as airfare and hotel) the trip to Vegas can be a bit costly, however I found the experience to be well worth the price. The opportunity to meet so many amazing people as well as meet Steve in person is just too good to pass up. The conference was surprisingly non controversial unlike many of Steve’s blog posts. Not once did I feel as if I was being pressured into a certain belief system.  If you got anything out of his book I’m almost certain you would benefit from attending to the workshop. If you have any more specific questions feel free to throw me an email.

Final Verdict: It can’t get much better than spending an entire weekend with loads of people who love personal growth.

Post from: A Boundless World

Conscious Growth Workshop and Las Vegas Review

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For the past few days I’ve spent a great amount of time thinking about the future of A Boundless World and the direction it’s heading. In the process of contemplating my expectations for the blog, a simple thought continued to pop up.

I need to do more to stand out.

For this blog to really take off and become what I intend it to, it’s going to have to stand out from all the other personal deveolpment blogs on the web. With thousands of personal development blogs out there, thats no small feat.

To be honest, my expectations for this blog are high, and I am dedicated to making it one of the most profound personal development blogs in the world.

Yet up until this point I haven’t done much to truly stand out. Sure I’ve had a few posts that have sparked a small flame or two but that’s only a glimpse of what I’m capable of. Instead of standing out I’ve simply settled, which goes against what I’m about.

I can do better.

Are you simply settling? Or are you doing everything in your power to go above and beyond?

The world is filled with people who simply exist. But if you simply exist you sacrifice what it means to be alive. Hiding behind your fears and insecurities is no way to live. You want more from life right?

The only way you can do that is to stand out.

5 Simple Yet Powerful Ways to Stand Out

Be Real

Each day millions of individuals struggle with figuring out who they are. Perhaps you are one of those who finds yourself in a continuous struggle with who you are meant to be.

As a result of this constant battle, many choose to hide behind a false image to satisfy those around them. Unfortunately, this false image only adds to the clutter of all those who have already sold their identity to the souls around them.

Being real means staying to sincere to who you are  instead of becoming the person society wants you to be.

Considering I am a freshman in college, I am well aware that “being real” is easier said then done, and frankly I’d be lying if I said I didn’t periodically dip into the world of people pleasing.

But the reality is, no matter how badly your ego may crave to fit in, being real is the only way to sincerely experience this magnificent life journey.

Regardless of how many layers of fakery you put on,  the real you remains waiting to be exposed and shine bright.

So how can you be real?

Being real means making mistakes and learning from them. Perfection is not real. Being real means living your values instead of compromising them. Only you know what it means to be real.

While you look in the mirror you should see your true-self  not some illusionary version of it.

When you allow yourself to be the real you, that inner greatness that you posses, begins to illuminate the world.

In an increasingly fictional world allowing your true-self to shine will unquestionably help make you stand out.

Provide Genuine Value

Personally I believe life is all about the value in which you provide. If you’re not providing value you aren’t living to the best of your ability. Granted we all take different paths, but I think it’s fair to say the majority of the world wishes to provide value.

Unfortunately, many confuse providing value with simply regurgitating stale and unoriginal ideas.

You.. yes you are capable of providing genuine value. Your life experience is unlike anyone else in the history of mankind, therefore you can help people grow.

As Sean Platt  says ” You’re alive so yes you’re a writer.” Your value doesn’t have to be conveyed through the medium of writing as long as you can express it.

Although there are a plethora of people who provide a tremendous amount of value, two bloggers that stand out to me are Steve Pavlina and and Leo Babauta.

Steve Pavlina:

It’s safe to say Steve Pavlina is one of the top personal development bloggers on the net. What I find amazing about his content is that it doesn’t matter whether you agree with his philsophies or not because you can always come away with a differnt perspective.

The value he provides isn’t just based on ideal practices but rather methods in which he himself has personally tested.

While as of late his message has shifted away from his blog into other mediums ( such as workshops and products), he remains one who continually provides tremendous value.

Zen Habits:

One of the reasons I admire Leo is because he lives by the principle of simplicity. Through simple action he was able to create one of the most popular personal development blogs on the web.

His articles may not  be the most in depth,  but his remarkable ability to convey his message in a simple and straight forward manner astonishes me. He doesn’t try to sway you with fancy words but rather lets his message speak for itself.

His blog helps hundreds of thousands if not millions of individuals live a simple and less sophisticated life. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed I take some time to reflect on his writings and I often leave feeling at peace.

By providing genuine value you can live the life you were meant to live.

The question isn’t can you provide value..  but rather will you?

Listen

Truly listening is one of the most effortless ways to stand out as a wonderful human being. In a world that is often about “me” it is rare you find someone who is simply willing to listen.

When was the last time you genuinely listened without looking to benefit?

I often struggle with listening as I often let my ego get in the way.

But when you remove “yourself” from a conversation a miraculous thing happens. You begin to connect.

People want to know that you care about what they have to say. By offering your ears without judgement you create a bond that often establishes authentic relationships.

Although simple, the act of truly listening can take sometime to perfect. Next time your with someone give them your full attention and totally immerse yourself in the present moment.

You will be surprised at how powerful genuinely listening can be.

Be Unique

It’s funny I say “be unique” because the fact of the matter is you are unique. Only when you try to be unique do you fall into the trap of becoming like everybody else. Crazy eh?

While it is perfectly acceptable to mirror those who are successful doing so will only get you so far. Uniqueness is the key ingredient to success and the foundation of what it takes to stand out from the rest of herd.

Use your talents to really stand out. I don’t care who you are or where you’re from, you have a unique talent or interest. Pursue it.

Two blogs  I find to be undeniably unique are:

Sean Platt of Writer Dad:

Sean Platt is one amazing dude.  If there is a guy who knows how to use the english language to craft unforgettable stories time after time,  it’s this guy. The way his words and stories flow are just breathtaking.

Not only is his writing unique, he uses his gift to teach thousands about parenting,relationships ,and life. His unique insights also provide for some wonderful poetry as well.

Because of his remarkable writing his has blog has quickly caught on around the web and has made me a regular visitor.

Johnathan Mead of Illuminated Mind:

Jonathan Mead is into starting revolutions and I dig that. In a matter of years he has gone from the corporate life to a bionafied self-employed enlightened dude.

His blog offers practical advice that is original and unique and often goes against traditional thinking.

Positive change depends on those who are willing and daring enough to improve the world on their terms. Each one of us has a story embedded into our soul. It sits there simmering inside until we consciously choose to unleash it.

At your core you are perfectly unique. Only when you sacrifice authenticity for security does your uniqueness begin to fade.

You are a chapter of the book humanity. Your actions and thoughts are creating the script of our existence.

The world doesn’t need people who are just part of the crowd. Be unique stand out.

Connect

Human beings are created to connect. Only through experiencing relationships can we thoroughly experience the brilliance of life.

Because the world is becoming increasingly reliant on technology to connect, our capability to create relationships has been made significantly easier.

Often times we remain hesitant to connect because we fear being rejected and not fit in. However in choosing not to connect you miss out on numerous opportunities and experiences that may help you grow.

Connecting with others who also wish to be exceptional unlocks the potential inside of you.

One blogger who does an exceptional job at connecting with others is Glen Allsop of PluginID.  If you visit his blog and leave a comment it is nearly guaranteed he will respond.

Glen’s willingness to connect has created a powerful personal development community one in which will only continue to grow.

By no means is he the only blogger who connects with his audience (after all blogging is all about connecting with your readers), yet Glen in my opinion does a wonderful job.

Send him an email and see what happens.

Never let your fears and insecurities keep you from connecting with others because you are worthy. Connecting is all about your mindset.

Choosing to connect is one of the most important decisions you can ever make.

When you choose to connect you may soon begin to notice that humanity consists of one single entity rather then a bunch of lonely souls.

Using my blog as a medium, I have been able to connect with countless growth-oriented individuals and in the process have transformed as an human being.

When you consciously connect with positive individuals your life will quickly become the life you knew you were meant to live.

Make an effort to sincerely connect with others and watch as the beauty of life slowly begins to emerge.

Standing Out

Are you doing everything in your power to truly live? Or are you simply existing?

How do you stand out? Take sometime and contemplate ways in which you can stand out and make the most of the time you have here on earth.

Humanity needs you.

Post from: A Boundless World

5 Simple Yet Powerful Ways To Stand Out

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Out of the many experiences we face in life, saying goodbye is often the most painful.  Whether it be saying goodbye when you relocate to a new home, or saying bye to a family member or friend whose last breath is drawing near.

Sometimes we have the privilege  to say goodbye and other times people are taken from us in an instant. The fact of the matter is, life is abundant in goodbyes.

A few days ago, I said goodbye to my girlfriend of sixteen months who moved to Switzerland to attend university. I will be attending university in the United States, so it is unlikely I will see her for quite sometime. Because of the distance we have decided to go our separate ways.

Saying bye to my girlfriend is the first of many goodbyes to follow, for my high school career officially ends this Thursday. I will be parting ways with many of my good friends who have made me the person I am today.

Saying goodbye to someone you love is a difficult task, yet with the proper mindset it doesn’t have to be as difficult as we often make it.

Accept your feelings

When saying goodbye it is important that  you are honest with yourself and your feelings. Don’t pretend to feel something your not. If your sad, feel sad. If your angry, feel angry. Let your feelings flow.

The worst thing you can do is hide your emotions. The more you resist your feelings the stronger they become.

I would be lying if I said the last few days have been great. My emotions have been anything but stable. I’ve been sad and I’ve been angry yet the important thing is I have allowed myself to feel.

I’ve looked for comfort from my friends.  I’ve gone on long walks. I’ve cried more than any teenage male would like to admit, yet with each passing day my perspective has slowly become more empowering. While I miss my girlfriend greatly, my gut instinct continually reminds me everything will be OK.

Everything will always be OK.

Saying goodbye is difficult because our ego craves security. Uncertainty makes our ego sick. The remedy is to remember that security does not exist. Life is full of uncertainty

Often times we cling to our past relationships, thinking that life will never be the same.

” I will never find someone like him/her.”

” He/she was my best friend.”

“I can’t go on with life.”

This flow of negative thought does nothing but greatly slow the recovery process.

The truth is, you will go on, you will meet many more wonderful people in your life time, and you will continue to make the most out of your life.

When you catch yourself thinking these negative thoughts, feel them and let them go, they don’t belong.

I’d be a hypocrite if I said I’ve never found myself thinking negatively. To be honest I’ve struggled immensely these past few days. Does this make me a bad person? No. It makes me human.

Accept your feelings don’t become them.

Be thankful

While it is incredibly easy to get caught up in all the things that the word “goodbye” brings an end to, it is essential that we remain thankful for the moments we were lucky enough to have.

It may be difficult to accept, but it is important to remember that all human relationships eventually come to an end.

Instead of looking at relationships from a purely physical perspective it is important we realize our relationships are much more.

When you accept the fact that no relationship will last forever you can put more energy into living more fully today.

Although our relationships may end physically, spiritually we are always connected.

Now I’ll be the first to admit this abstract concept is rather difficult to comprehend, however for me it has been a very power perspective to adopt.

While saying goodbye may close the physical door, we can always revisit our relationships through our memories.

With regard to my girlfriend and myself, I am eternally grateful for the many wonderful memories we had the opportunity to share. While it was hard to say goodbye, the hundreds of memories we made, were well worth the price.

While my soul is deeply saddened at  the inability to now create memories on demand, I realize that we have shared plenty. I already have a plethora of amazing moments to revisit in my mind. Within seconds, I can revisit our first and last kiss. Within seconds, I can revisit the countless nights that we lay searching for the Shanghai stars. Within seconds, I can revisit all the laughter and and all the tears.

Butterflies can’t tell time.

Your memories more powerful than you can imagine. Revisit them frequently and you will find that you have the ability to connect with anyone at anytime, regardless of location.

By being thankful we are able to connect with the true essence of life.

Instead of focusing on what you won’t be able to do in the future take sometime and be thankful for what you have already done.

What about your current relationships are you thankful for?

Write it down. How does it feel?

A new door

For every goodbye comes another hello. Human beings are social creatures that thrive on interaction. To truly function at your highest level requires that you maintain numerous authentic relationships. Accept that goodbyes are a part of life.

Change is constant. Every second, you are a different being. People come into your life and leave just as quickly. The end of a relationship  leaves an opportunity to create a new one. With 6 billion people in the world there are plenty of people for you to meet. Things may be different but change  is a good thing.

Embracing  the unknown is a powerful tool to truly express your potential.

Look at the unknown as an opportunity to grow. Open the new door and step right in.

Will you embrace the unknown?

Coming to peace

While saying goodbye will never be easy, it is important we embrace change with a positive attitude and look to continue forward. Because of today’s technology it is easier than ever to stay in touch.

Are you saying goodbye soon? Take a deep breathe, I promise it will be OK.

Cry. Laugh. Be thankful. Live.

Time heals all pain. New relationships await.

Post from: A Boundless World

Saying Goodbye

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When was the last time you connected with a friend or family member through means of authentic conversation?

I’m not talking about superficial chatter consisting of gossip and politics; I’m talking about genuine heart to heart conversation.

I’m guessing it has been a while.

Think about it. The majority of our conversations are meaningless, adding no value to our daily lives.

We talk about the newest music video, the latest politician to be involved in a scandal, and of course how the world is going to come to an end. But what we fail to do is talk about what really matters, our dreams, our aspirations, and our beliefs.

I’m not suggesting I never partake in lower level conversation. I love hearing about the latest pop diva just as much as you do. Nonetheless, I am greatly concerned at the lack of sincere conversation taking place.

Deep conversations are slowly on the decline. We have instead chosen to find entertainment from other means. As a result our beliefs remain confined to ourselves.

Society has taught us to put up our shields and lay low, to keep our opinions and beliefs to ourselves, but in doing so we are starving our soul.

We need to be heard.

Growing up I was never much of a talker, however as I have matured things have begun to change. I have become enamored with numerous questions about humanity. I might never have all the answers but I’m sure as hell going to try.

What drives people? What do people really believe? Why do people believe what they do?

I have found conversation to be a wonderful place to start in my quest.

There’s something about having deep conversations that satisfies my soul. There’s something about those conversations that go past our outer shields and dive deep into the vulnerable beings we are.

One of the reasons I enjoy heartfelt conversation is that I love immersing myself in different perspectives and beliefs. I love having my beliefs challenged because that causes me to reevaluate what I believe on a regular basis. As a result I regularly can the beliefs that do not resonate with me and am left with only beliefs that truly empower my passion and purpose.

Conversation allows me to know who people really are, instead of the person they pretend to be.

Our society as a whole tends to be very close-minded. Close mindedness is a terrible disease. Deep conversation is the cure. It’s only a matter of time before “deep conversation” begins selling in the pill form. Ask your doctor about it today.

One subject I particularly enjoy discussing is religion. I have been raised Catholic but over the years have developed a more holistic approach to religion. This path is what feels right for me. I look at world religions as a source of personal empowerment. I don’t subscribe to any particular one. From my perspective all religions have many empowering components.

Just the other day my friend Victor and I discussed religion for a solid hour. I have tremendous respect for Victor because although his parents moved back to the states he continues to go church even though he has no one telling him to. Now I’m not suggesting everyone only goes to church because they “have to”, I simply find Victor’s particular situation inspiring. I found our conversation to be immensely rewarding. It’s always interesting to hear someone else’s perspective on how the human race originated. While we didn’t agree on everything, I found many of his beliefs to be somewhat similar to mine. Perhaps it was because I was raised Catholic. Talking with Victor solidified my brotherly bond with him.

Another night I again discussed religion with my friend Sara, who happens to be of the Mormon faith. I again found this conversation to be greatly satisfying for I did not know much about the beliefs of Mormon’s. I have had several deep conversations with Sara each time becoming further immersed in different point of views. Once more, not all of her beliefs particularly resonated with me, as I’m sure not all of mine resonated with her, nonetheless I learned a great deal about her religion and further enhanced my knowledge of religion.

Deep conversation can often be difficult. Sometimes individuals reject true conversation from taking place, by rejecting beliefs that are not congruent with theirs, making it impossible for true conversation to take place. I find it rather difficult to talk to several of my classmates about religion because they refuse to accept any belief other than their own. While I can be somewhat close-minded at times, I take particular pride in looking at life from a variety of angles. I have found conversation to be a wonderful source of lens in which I can view the world. While some people aren’t open-minded this is perfectly valid.

From my personal experience I have found deep conversation to be a wonderful way to connect. It may take a while before you are fully comfortable with being completely open about your own beliefs but once you get over that initial resistance conversation is a extraordinary way to reach your highest potential.

If you would like to have a deep conversation just head on over to the contact page and send me an email

Post from: A Boundless World

The Power Of Conversation

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“You can’t stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and it’s good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete. -Keith Sweat

I want you to take a moment and think about your current relationships.

Are they empowering to everyone involved?

Are they based on trust, love, and compassion?

Are they genuine or misleading?

Unfortunately, many relationships today have become superficial and end up doing more harm then good.

Behind many of these superficial connections lie selfish intentions, ones in which sometimes we are not even consciously aware. Relationships have become all about “I” and not “we.” What’s worse is we continue to remain in emotionally abusive relationships because we are afraid of leaving the “security” to which we have become accustomed. We feel obligated to stay in touch with individuals who do nothing but bring us down, thus  hindering our ability to live our life to the fullest.

Why is this? Why are so many of today’s relationships so unfulfilling?

Human relationships are what make our journey as humans so incredibly beautiful–we posses the ability to literally connect with billions of people around the globe. We have the ability to laugh, to smile, and to love anyone that we choose. Authentic relationships are essential for growth; without heart to heart connections, our soul suffers. Unfortunately, authentic relationships have become rare.

5 Essentials in Creating and Maintaining Genuine Relationships

Trust
Embrace Individuality
Communication
Have Expectations (Standards)
Expect Bumps In The Road (Flexibility)

TECHE for short

Trust

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”-George MacDonald

Trust. This should be the foundation of all human relationships. Without trust, empowering relationships simply cannot exist. Trust is a plant’s water–without water a plant withers up and dies.

I’m sure you can recall a time in which you were lied to or mislead. And I’m also sure you can recall lying or purposely misleading someone.

One of the many reasons relationships are so superficial these days is because of the simple fact that most are built upon a foundation of lies.

Here’s a solution I guarantee  will instantly improve your current relationships.

Ready?

Be trustworthy.

Look, I know you’re human. I know that simple white lies appear as if they can get us out of loads of trouble, but not so, this is simply an illusion. Every time you lie, you’re failing to water the plant.

Obviously this solution is overly simplistic. Considering that we always lie, it would be easier to live with the fact, right?

Not quite.

Whether every word you say is a lie or you are one of those one-in-a-million types who lie only once a year (come on, be honest), you can always improve the trust in your current relationships.

If you’re looking to create empowering and genuine connections, begin with watering your relationships with trust.

Embrace Individuality

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”- Joseph Campell

Personally, this is a huge weakness of mine, and something I hope to improve upon as the year progresses.

Many people go into relationships hoping to make a particular person more like themselves, to sway their opinions and to change their habits. All this does however, is create resentment, and blocks the relationship from reaching its fullest potential.

Believe me, I know.

The quickest way to a crappy relationship is to try to change the person whom you have a relationship with.

The only person you should want to change is yourself.

Relationships aren’t meant for forced change.

They are meant to help us grow, but how we grow is up to the person facing the path of growth.

After dedicating myself to a path of personal development I unfortunately, developed the my-way-is-right-yours-is-not attitude. This hindered my ability to create empowering relationships. I went into relationships thinking that because it worked for me it had to work for everyone else. What I failed to do was appreciate the individuality of the people whom I had relationships with.

I ridiculed my family and my girlfriend’s personal perspective in attempts to “enlighten them.”

Funny, eh?

The personal development “guru” became a know-it-all-jerk.

Don’t look to change anyone but yourself; otherwise you’re wasting your time. Learn to understand people’s uniqueness. Immerse yourself in different perspectives. It’s okay if you don’t always agree. Relationships would be stale and boring if that was the case.

Once you begin to appreciate the uniqueness of others you will soon begin to grow and even appreciate your own uniqueness more.

Communicate

Communication leads to community, that is to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.- Rollo May

If you wish to live a life rich in wonderful relationships, it is an absolute must that you learn to communicate effectively. Doing so will substantially decrease the amount of arguments you have.  Many of the fights we find ourselves in today can be avoided by simply communicating effectively.

How do you communicate effectively, you may ask?

Communicating effectively requires that you convey your message in a straightforward manner that can be easily understood. So often we load our communication with false devices in order to mask our true intentions.

If you have a problem with something, say it, don’t hint. When you hint you leave your thoughts and feelings up to interpretation and we all know how that turns out. Be straightforward and honest. Remember that your point of view is simply that—your perspective. It doesn’t mean you’re right or wrong.

Often times when we get upset or offended we put up a defensive shield in order to protect our ego, this only prevents genuine communication from taking place.

I can recall numerous times in which I stopped listening merely because I was afraid to admit I was wrong. We must learn to take our ego out of our communication and  let our soul speak instead.

Soul to soul communication can only occur when we consciously choose to put our shields down and allow ourselves  to receive.

Looking to communicate better?

Put down your shield, instead love and embrace.

Have Expectations

“Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.” – Brain Tracy

If you want to get the most out of your relationships (and you would be silly not to), it is imperative that you have some sort of expectations of what you wish to give and receive in a particular relationship.

So often our relationships remain unfulfilled simply because we don’t know what we want out of them.

When I say want, I’m not referring to being selfish and wanting things to satisfy you ego. I’m referring to understanding the purpose of the relationship.

So often we have relationships just for the sake of having them. Unfortunately this leaves us with many relationships that do not provide value for anyone involved.

It is important to know what you want out of a relationship. What are your motivations? Are you looking for friendship? A soul mate? What value do you wish to give and receive? Ask yourself these questions.

Never, ever subject yourself to a relationship you don’t want to be in. If you have a feeling of obligation, this is a sure sign that you need to break things off. Yes, it may be difficult, but staying in one just because you’re afraid or feel bad is going against what true relationships are meant to be about.

Share your expectations openly and honestly. You will be amazed at how similar your intentions might be.

Want a great relationship?

Expect one.

Expect Bumps in the Road

“It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.”
-Seneca

In a perfect world, we would never fight and never argue; yet this world remains far from perfect. Relationships won’t always be easy. Don’t kid yourself in thinking so.

There are going to be times when your relationships are put to the test. These tests serve a purpose. If your relationship is authentic then these tests will do nothing but strengthen it. However, these tests also serve to weed out relationships that are doing more harm then good.

When you hit a bump in a road, don’t fret—things can get better. Keep a positive attitude, continuing to be honest and sincere, and don’t forget to communicate effectively.

Don’t look at bumps in the road as bad things; instead, look how they will improve your relationships. Allow these bumps to pass and don’t look back. When you hit a bump you’re doing just that—you’re hitting a bump. Only when we allow our negative chatter to roam free do we begin to hit larger bumps, perhaps even running into a roadblock.

If you are responsible for a particular bump in the road, own up, admit it, and then forgive. If it’s the other way around, don’t forget to forgive as well.

There’s no better feeling than making up after a long-fought battle.

Authentic Relationships:

There is absolutely no reason you can’t be living the life of your dreams. Looking to take your life to next level?

Remember:

TECHE

What are you waiting for?

Start creating authentic relationships today.

Post from: A Boundless World

How to Create Authentic Relationships

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.“-Philip Yancey

How To Forgive Anybody

The act of forgiveness is one of the hardest yet  most profound actions a human being can take. Often times it requires courage, submission, and a small chunk of our ever-protected ego. However, to live a truly blissful life, we must learn to forgive unconditionally. Obviously this is easier said than done.

Certainly we all have been subject to extreme hurt throughout our life journey. We have been taken advantage of,  ridiculed, and had our good hearts  put to the test, and because of this we often find it difficult to forgive.

Over the years  I unfortunately  developed  a great deal of resentment towards many people I loved, particularly my brother. For as long as I can remember my brother and I  never got along, often fighting, stabbing each other  with insults that would make Satan cringe. The fact that my relationship with my brother was such a miserable failure, truly bothered me. I loved him, and he loved me, yet for some reason we could never coexist in a brotherly manner. I wanted so badly to make things right. Every night before I went to bed, I would tell myself “ forgive him“ and everyday our relationship would continue to get worse.

What was I doing wrong? Why did our relationship continue to falter?

The Three Essentials of Forgiveness

1. Forgive Yourself First:

In order to succeed in your path to forgiveness you must first forgive yourself. How can you expect to forgive someone else when you can’t even forgive your own faults and shortcomings? So often we forget this essential first step.

For the longest time, I thought that forgiving my brother would make everything right; I thought that by forgiving him our problems would magically disappear. However, what I did not realize was the solution had nothing to do with my brother, it had to do with me.

You see I didn’t really have a problem with my brother;  I had a problem with myself.  I was upset with how I didn’t always act with a kind and loving heart. I was upset that despite being the oldest, I still resulted in throwing shallow insults at my brother. I was exposing him in order to cover up my own insecurities.

As I began to forgive myself for my past faults, forgiving my brother slowly became much easier. Simply forgiving myself changed my relationship with my brother virtually overnight. Obviously we still have our moments, but our respect for one other has increased dramatically.

All because I learned to forgive myself.

2. Accept Your Past:

Depending on how much hurt you have suffered in a particular relationship, this can and most likely will, take some time. But with the right attitude anything is possible.

Look you can’t change what has happened to you, you and I both know that, but what you can change is how you look at your past events. I’m not suggesting that you have to recall hurtful periods of time and smile about them, but rather simply acknowledge that they have occurred and move on. In regards to my relationship with my brother, I often had a difficult time accepting the past.

I would go to bed angry, and wake up angry, thus hindering my ability to forgive him. I would blow out of proportion some of the hurtful things he said to me in order to justify my less than admirable actions towards him.

I soon realized however, that if our relationship were to ever exist in a peaceful state, I would first have to accept our past.

3. Choose The Path Of Happiness:

If you choose to forgo the path of forgiveness you are essentially choosing a path of misery. Forgiving can be challenging, but forgiveness is essential in living life to your fullest potential. One of the greatest reasons we are miserable is because we subconsciously believe that suffering is necessary .We amplify the hurt long after the initial act has taken place.

What we fail to realize though,  is that suffering is not normal, we choose to suffer. The sad thing is  we are naturally made to be  happy, but our social conditioning tends to make us believe other wise. We don’t need the latest product to make us happy.

The only thing we need to live a happy life is a happy mind, a mind that can love and forgive.

Who is it that you need to forgive?

What are you waiting for?

Post from: A Boundless World

How To Forgive Anyone

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This morning I was searching for some inspirational material and came across this very empowering short story. The author, as far as I know is unknown. Please take a moment to read the following:

Story
“The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation.

His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

“Oh, that’s my trouble tree,” he replied.” I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing’s for sure; troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again.”

He paused. “Funny thing is,” he smiled, “when I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.”

What do you do with your troubles?

How many times have you caught yourself lashing out at someone just because you were having a bad day?

Bad days are inevitable, they come and go, often times when least expected, yet bad day or not, we should strive not to bring others down with us. Through conscious effort we can learn to contain our bad days to only ourselves.

What’s the point of making another person miserable?

It is important to put things in perspective. We must not allow our frustrations and worries to get the best of us.

A few years ago, I had great difficulty containing my bad days. If I was having one my friends and family knew it immediately. I would respond negatively to nearly anything any one said. As a result no one wanted to be around me. They would do their very best to avoid me, as they knew at any moment I could explode like a ticking time bomb.

But as years past, I slowly developed the ability to control my negative emotions and reduce my out lashings toward other individuals. I do still have lapses every now and then, but the difference between myself now and myself of a few years ago is tremendous.

Personally I have found meditation and deep breathing to be fantastic remedies in which anger and worry slowly resides.

Keeping Perspective:

Many times the things that keep us worried and angry mean very little in the long run. Often times we blow our problems out of proportion. One great way to combat this from occurring is slowing your thinking down.

Ask yourself, is this worth getting worried about? Is this worth getting angry about?

More often than not just asking these simple questions will ground you into a more peaceful state of mind. Granted there will be things in which you should worry about, or should anger you, but the majority of the time our negative thoughts get the best of us.

If you find you’re self worrying or in a constant state of anger make an a special effort to keep things in perspective.

I promise you, if you make an effort to alter your perspective from a negative one to a more positive one, you will reap the benefits.

Do you let let your personal troubles affect your social life? Do you infect everyone with your bad mood? Do you find yourself always angry? It might be time for you to develop your own trouble tree.

Post from: A Boundless World

The Trouble Tree

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