We all know who they are. Those people you just can’t stand to be around. Those people that are completely determined to make your life miserable.
While it’s not always pleasant dealing with a person who is an ass, it’s safe to say we’ve all held the occupation at least once in our lifetime. Hell, I was well on my way to being a CEO.
Many times we may hold the occupation with out even being aware. Are you a professional ass? Let’s find out.
Qualities Of An Ass.
You Know It All:
The top-dog-asses generally hold the belief that they know everything. They routinely converse like they have the final say. When I was running for CEO this was one of my top qualities. This led me to radiate a cocky and arrogant glow. Even today I occasionally revert to my old ways.
While one may politely point out that they in fact do not know everything, a professional ass is always to stubborn to admit their shortcomings, because after all they know best. Working and or talking with a professional can often be difficult as your opinions may routinely be set aside as hogwash.
You Respond To Everything:
Professional asses love attention. They continually share their opinion in hopes of becoming the life of the party. Attention is their oxygen. Their desire to to be heard is unparalleled. No matter what the subject matter may be they feel as if they have to chime in.
This quality quickly becomes a nuisance and is responsible for a the death of thousands of conversations.
You’re Quick to Verbally Assault:
Perhaps one of the more hurtful qualities of an ass, professional asses are exceptional at abusing. Weapon of choice-words. They know the right thing and when to say it. Often their “witty” remarks leaves many feeling dejected and upset.
Having a bad day? Professional asses can make it worse.
You Attempt To Intimidate:
In hopes of building their ego, accomplished asses are always looking to intimidate. Instead of focusing on equality and creating authentic relationships all they desire to be alpha male (or woman) of the group.
They use a variety of methods to intimidate, all of which make often make others feel inadequate. Intimidation is their game.
What To Do If You’re a Professional Ass
Odds are if you are a professional ass you stopped reading long ago because you don’t need a blog to tell you something you already know 
. But in the small chance you’re hoping to change occupations do continue reading.
No matter how high in the hierarchy you may be, it’s never too late to change careers. Being an ass isn’t a required. It’s perfectly acceptable to live a life a compassion and generosity.
The transition from being professional ass to just a normal-everyday-person can take some time. But with the right mindset it can be done.
It’s OK to slip up. It’s OK to be an ass every now and then. After all you are human. When you make a mistake make amends and forgive.
While the thought of switching careers may be terrifying it is guaranteed to make your life a much more pleasant experience.
Are you a professional ass? Perhaps it’s time to find a new job. 
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bud i love this post! i’ve been waiting it for a long time. its good to remind people about their behavior.
It’s going to be hard to make that transition to a new job – after all, people expect you to be an ass and don’t believe it when you aren’t – but, says karma, every professional ass deserves a taste of their own medicine. =)
Good Post Bud,
My thoughts:
It simply comes down to a lack of awareness. The People you described, which is a huge part of the population, are this way because they are strongly identified with their thoughts and mind, basically they only believe that their identity is their ego and self image. But in order to not be strongly identified with your ego and to experience and see the different levels of your being, you must disidentify yourself from the mind. You must be able to step out side of it to understand how your ego and internal decision making process really works. Only once you understand how your ego works will you be able to drop it.
When you believe that your identity is your ego, you will only live your world in reactive mode. You will live your life only in direct relation to how you are affected by gain and loss, pleasure and pain, fame and shame. Living like this you will never be living in reality; you are only experiencing this world from the self conscious perspective. By living your life from only a self conscious perspective, you only experience this world from your own thoughts, your living in your own little world disconnected from the greater reality. If you are not careful you will be lost, if you try and search for happiness, you will never find it because it’s not real. Happiness is not something you find outside of yourself. Happiness is something that is already inside you, you have to decide to be happy. You have to realize that happiness will never be found in egoist desires.
Meditation can help you create that space between your mind and thoughts, to observe and become a witness to your inner world. But only through sincere and continuous disciplined efforts will you be able to understand what I am saying. Otherwise people who try to meditate will only be doing so through their ego, and will use what I say to rationalize it and will only remain an understanding of their ego.
Hi Bud! I was once on my way to being a professional ass too, but something stopped me. I’m not sure what but I’m sure glad it did!
Hey Bud, interesting post and definitely a spin away from your usual ones! Was there something that inspired this article?
“Hi, No thanks, I don’t need this article, because I’m so..o smart.”
Well, that’s what I would say before I became aware of myself in early 2009. I knew that time I had to eliminate my ego (bit by bit, minus obsession about eliminating plus accepting myself in the moment). It has been perspective and behavior changing experience!
To eliminate my ego I realized I had to read sites like these (self improvement), increasing open minded-ness and healthy skepticism. I believe I was also guided by my own intuition.
In summary I believe these are the keys that unlock knowing more about yourself and to learning more interesting material:
First, take your *ego* as your distraction: the wall that guards you true self, let’s include a moat if it is very serious, haha.
Keep it from distracting you by examining that wall and understanding what is written in that wall (if a moat is included that guarding animal should help you explain it, haha), then accept it to help you unlock it. (as in Ivan’s comment above, in my own words)
so, here are the keys to the castle door:
• open mindedness with critical thinking and healthy skepticism to facts.
• using your intuition
• treasure yourself by loving yourself and accepting yourself at the moment
• being proactive (not beating yourself up, which is rooted from obsessiveness)
• rational thinking
Once you have come in the castle, these do not happen at the same time and they are a long but worth it progress:
• You celebrate independence from your ego.
• You’ll realize you have to break the wall and destroy the moat. Picture it as welcoming anyone to yourself (your castle) because you have accepted and discovered yourself.
• You welcome new facts and figures openly.
• You want to find your true potential lurking in the castle dungeon. I know it takes time to develop talent according to Celes:
http://celestinechua.com/blog/2009/08/10000-hours-to-develop-talent/
• You want to take care of your rooms (the departments mentioned in Celes’ article:
http://celestinechua.com/blog/2008/12/you-are-the-ceo-of-your-life/)
(Oh, that was long that it already sounds like a guest post), Bud anything to add to it? there could be many more, especially after opening the door.
This is a good one. It is so easy to examine and analyze the behaviors and missteps of others, but usually we overlook some of our own idiosyncrasies. I think you make some really good points and we do need to turn our focus on ourselves and understand our own opportunity areas for growth.
I love this really much:
“No matter how high in the hierarchy you may be, it’s never too late to change careers. Being an ass isn’t a required. It’s perfectly acceptable to live a life a compassion and generosity.”
i don’t just verbally assault…i verbally abuse
i should definitely resign then go to rehab (is there a rehab facility for former asses?) before changing jobs
I’m happy that I had the occasion to meet several nice guys in decision-making/leading positions. Beating the weak doesn’t make you stronger. It shows lack of power. It’s harder to say “I am sorry” than “Get the fuck out of here, I said!”, and it’s manlier to say “I am sorry!”.
Admit that you make mistakes. We are all human. Be a little bit more humble. Humility can be your pride, not your shame.
Greetings.