Columbia MO © Grant Hindsley 2009
Having just about wrapped up my first semester at college, I can honestly say these last few months have been a blur. I’ve made many new friends, had a taste of freedom, and have learned the consequences of procrastination. I’ve adapted to the college dorm food, stayed up to late far to many nights, and have spent countless hours in heated (though usually civil) debates.
College is my new home, and I couldn’t find it any more cozy. I’d like to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned thus far.
Time Management is Essential
What amazes me about time is that we each have the exact same amount. There are always 24 hours each day. What we choose to do with our time differs greatly. Some spend most of their day socializing. Others spend the bulk of their time “pretending ” to do work. Some spend their day thinking, while others spend time doing. Learning to effectively balance work, family, and friends is of great importance.
Despite it’s significance, many are terrible at managing their time. Instead of taking action that yields long terms results many fill their days with lifeless activities that won’t matter the next day. I know I’ve struggled with this a great deal. Yet regardless of my struggles, I’ve seen significant improvement in being able to effectively mangage my time.
Managing your time isn’t always easy. There is always an abundance of distractions to keep you off track, but learning to use your time wisely pays off down the road. One of the secrets to effectively mangage time is to focus in whatever you do. When you work, work. When you play, play. Don’t waste a moment going back and fourth between activities, but instead dive in and fully immerse yourself into what ever it is you’re doing. Granted, this isn’t always the easiest thing to do but it will profoundly help you in taking control of your day.
Your Social Life Is What You Make It
Socially, I’ve always been able to make friends fairly easily. This isn’t because I’m super smart, or super good looking. It’s because I have the mindset of connection.
Having moved from across the world from Texas to Shanghai I’ve been fortunate enough to have some experience making friends in a totally alien environment. What I’ve learned is this: Your social life (along with any other part of your life) is what you make it.
If feel like you don’t have many friends it’s up to you to go make some. If you want to have more social interaction in your life it’s up to you to make that happen. Don’t expect people to just know who you are. Go show them, be kind. Embrace people for who they are.
Because my college has nearly 40,000 people it hasn’t been too difficult for me to connect with people with similar interests and goals, however this can apply to wherever you are. Because I’ve carried the social mindset I’ve been able to make numerous authentic relationships in a matter of months.
Despite a sincere desire to make friends, one of the greatest fears people face when creating their social life is fear of rejection.
What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t fit in? What if I’m not good enough? If you fall into that trap of thinking your social life will always suffer.
Don’t waste your time wrestling with that inner dialogue. Be bold. Connect with others. Don’t worry if you get rejected, not everyone is going to like you anyways. Focus on what you can control. Your social life is in your hands.
Family and Friends are Important
Back when I was living with my parents (along with my brother and sister), I didn’t really appreciate them as much as I should have. They became so ingrained in my everyday life that I just expected them to be there. Having been on my own for several months now I realize how much I took them for granted, this goes for my friends as well. Luckily it’s fairly easy to stay in touch via sites such as Facebook and Twitter, however I definitely miss the interaction with my family and friends.
Having been away from both my family and friends for a few months now, I appreciate much the time in which I get to spend with them. I’ve gained a better understanding of the importance of family and remaining close to those who love you.
No matter where you are in life it’s always important to remember where you came from.
Freedom Is Bliss (Sort of)
One of the greatest perks of being at college (or growing up for that matter) is the amount of freedom you have. No one tells you what you can or can’t do (assuming you’re not breaking the law.) If you don’t want to go to class you don’t have to. If you want to spend your day partaking in harmful activities that is your right. If you want to just go through the motions you have the ability to do so. But with freedom comes consequences both good and bad, and when you make a decision you must accept the result.
Your reality is a result of what you choose to do or not do. Everyday you have a choice. Believe it or not, you are in complete control of your actions and thoughts. When you accept the power that comes with freedom you empower yourself to create a better world.
At first the freedom of being at college was a bit overwhelming but I quickly came to grips with it. In a matter of months I matured significantly. Although I still have a ways to go, having a taste of freedom has accelerated my growth tremendously.
College May Not Be Right For Me
This may come as a surprise, as I’ve mostly talked about the positives of my college experience thus far, but the truth is I’ve seriously contemplated taking a year off. Why? All our lives we’re told that college is the next step from high school and that you must do it or you can’t succeed. But lately I’ve been challenging that belief. While there are many aspects of college I find valuable, there are also some I struggle with. It bothers me that a piece of paper can dicate whether or not you “succeed” in life. Traditional schooling is not the only way to succeed.
Now I realize that going to college and getting a diploma is very important if you intend to make your way into the corporate world, but for my purposes I don’t intend to. The entrepreneur path is my calling. Questioning the traditional path has left me to receive a lot of criticism yet I feel it is important that I be honest with myself rather than hide what I really feel.
While I openly admit, being 18 I’m somewhat naive and have a lot to learn, but I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. Over the past few years my entrepreneur mind has really taken a hold of me and made me realize the endless possibilites. While I’m in no position to walk away at the moment, I have to admit that the college system may not be right for me, and I’m definitely open to exploring other paths down the road.
At the time of this writing, I plan on finishing the year and then reevaluate from there.
You Must Make Alone Time
Throughout my life, I’ve usually been good at making time for myself. Whether that be time to read, write, or just meditate. However, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to do at college. I still make time for myself just not as much.
A great deal of individuals are constantly busy never allowing themselves time to just be breathe. Being alone allows you to rejuvenate yourself and take a break from the constantly moving world. Making time for yourself is essential.
Some things I enjoy to do while alone:
Meditiate: This is probably one of my favorite things to do while alone. I haven’t meditated as much as I would have liked but I’ve been trying to practice meditation a lot more as of late. It not only relaxes me but allows me to gain focus as well.
Journal: In some ways this blog is my journal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had an insight while writing a post. I also like to spend time just writing down my thoughts, particularly emotions, so that I can come back and read my journal entries at a later time. This has been invaluable to my growth not only as a person but a writer to.
Think: Do you ever take time to just think? I spend much of my day contemplating questions that are on my mind. Sometimes I ponder the sillest of questions while others I reflect on life’s most serious questions.
Exercise: I’m a big fan of body weight exercises but I also like to walk or run. I find having time to be alone and just exercise a wonderful way to relax and be healthy at the same time.
Initiative Wins The Race
One of the many things I’ve learned is that in order to succeed in this world (however you may define success) you must take initiative. Things don’t just fall into place. I notice a lot of people under the impression that if you just sit back thinking positive thoughts life will magically become remarkable. This isn’t true.
If you want to change any area in your life you have to take action. As Glen Allsop says “Life gives back what you put in.” By taking action you create the opportunities you seek. Don’t just sit back waiting for your reality to change. Take action.
Take baby steps. Showing initiative doesn’t mean doing everything at once. It means creating your own luck. Do something everyday that will bring you the success that you desire.
It’s perfectly OK to make mistakes
College is a time of learning and a time of making mistakes, and in my case a lot of them. I’ve said things I shouldn’t have. I’ve done things that I know aren’t congruent with my values and I have had my days of where I just want to punch the world. It’s perfectly OK to make mistakes.
Don’t beat yourself up from coming up short. Don’t feel like you have to justify every decision you make. If you make a gaffe smile and move on. If you feel the need to apologize, apologize but don’t let fear of rejection keep you from failing again.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life (many multiple times) but I know they have been invaluable to my growth. Learn from each situation but don’t get caught up in the past. forgive yourself, life is meant to be enjoyed.
These past few months have been full of growth and opportunity and what to see what the future holds.
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Great article mate and it seems like you are enjoying college.
Love the phrasing of “a mindset for connection” Self coined?
Anyway, you know I am always impressed by you so keep up the great work my friend.
Thanks Jonny! College has been a blast so far. I’m looking forward to what lies ahead.
Heya Bud!
It seems like college was/is a great time to learn these lessons. Why? You had all that freedom, yet you learned lessons in your first semester that are applicable for the rest of your life.
Have a good day, my friend!
Brett
Hey Brett! Yeah man, it has been a blast so far. But I have a lot to improve.
Hey! Thanks for a great post. I finished undergrad in 2007, took time off to travel/work/volunteer/live in freedom, then started graduate school in September, 2009.
Everything you’ve said here, with the exception of some aspects of the section on freedom, rings true for me as I finish my first semester of grad school. The most significant difference I’ve found between undergrad and grad school is that the later requires better time-management skills than the former. Even so, we are not victims in our own lives, we are agents who have the power to do or not do anything we truly desire. As you assert here, life is what we make of it. If I want to succeed in grad school, or anything else, I need to work at it with sound intent.
About taking time off: It completely depends on what you do during your “time off”. I think its unfortunate that in our society we think of stepping off the traditional path as taking time off. After undergrad I was supposed to go straight to law school but in an impulsive moment I bought a plane ticket to Indonesia instead. After that, the two years I spent traveling, working my @– off to pay bills and volunteering were amazing, absolutely amazing. They allowed me the time and space to figure out what I wanted to go to graduate school for, international public health…not law school (at least not right now).
Think about studying abroad. For me it was a great way to disappear from the atmosphere of New York University and NYC, and delve into something completely foreign, Ghana. It was great to be able to move forward with my degree and study in a different place with different cultural perspectives.
Hope all is well,
Jackie Rose
Final Thought: Looking back (I’m only 23), I have started to remember the months I’ve spent living and volunteering abroad as my ‘real life’, and the time I spent working to pay bills and advancing in the traditional path as ‘time off”. Pick up a copy of Rolf Potts short read, “Vagabonding.” I think you’d find it interesting.
Hi Bud.
Good call about making time for alone time. Without it, we are not able to maintain any sort of momentum, as alone time will want to creep into other things we do. We have to present our inner selves at times.
Sometimes we don’t realize the amount of energy we were getting from friends and family, like you allude to here, and realize it when one or another is no longer there. It is one of those things you don’t notice until it is gone for a bit.
Initiative sure is a big deal. Each big deal comes from one person who set forth a proposition that wasn’t there before he presented it. There is a huge wall to cross before this simple act is done, thanks to hesitation, fear, worry, doubt, lack of preparation, laziness, procrastination, and so on, which keeps the playing field for new propositions and initiatives quite open.
Great post Bud. Its cool to constantly evaluate our lives and the direction we are taking. I definitely think our generation is a generation that will question and challenge the social and cultural norms and in many cases redifine what’s normal. There are more options available to us now than at any other time in history. Many of us will be trail blazers that help beat out the path of the new normal. Alone time and making time for ourselves allows a space for all that we are learning and doing and expierencing to perculate. Thanks Bud for a great post.
Bud,
I think you are really on your way to massive success. You are in college at a time when opportunity is rampant and you can really take advantage of your environment. I recently had a chat with Nick Tart for the interviews with up and coming bloggers podcast. One thing we discussed was the fact that you pay x amount of dollars for unlimited access to expertise that most companies and individuals will pay upwards of 5 grand a day for. You have professors who are top of their fields that can provide advice free of charge. Take advantage of that. You are incredibly self aware for someone so young, and that will result in a massive pay off in your life.
Bud, great article. You’re truly an authentic person. It’s really cool being so young, and so open, both with respect to your life’s direction and life in general.
Cheers
PAPA
Brett: You’re the man
Hey Jackie! Thanks for your super long comment!
Sounds like you’ve had quite an interesting adventure. Studying abroad doesn’t really interest me at the moment.. as I spent the last two years living in Shanghai with my family. If I were to do some traveling I would want to do it on my own rather through school. I’d love to hear more about your travels!
I’ll be sure to pick up Vagabonding.. I’ve heard really good things!
@Armen: You said it perfect man. It’s funny to think about how often we are “connected.” It’s nice to sometimes just get away. I know you’ve done a great job lately of taking initiative. For that I applaud you.
@ Solomon Pinkins: Right on. With all the information at our finger tips it’s impossible for us to stay contained. Big things to come for our generation. Some good. Some bad. Thanks for stopping by.
@Srinivas: Thanks for the kind words man. I really appreciate it. While I agree there definite advantages of going to college I’m struggling with the idea that, a college degree defines me. Much of my learning comes from reading on my own rather than what I learn in the class room.
@Papa: Hey dude! This weekend has been crazy busy, catch up soon yes? And of course I’m authentic.. we ALL are authentic.
Like you, I am now taking the path of college life. I am on the second year now and I can say that college is a very very hard path but of course, lot of fun, too. I’ve experienced so many things during first years in college and I cherish those things because without college, there’s nothing like that.
Hi Bud
Well I must say this is such a pleasure to come here and finally have some serious time to explore your blog and writing, which by the way is phenomenal!
I read your bio with great enthusiasm and am humbled to be in the presence of a very wise 18 year old – good for you!
I read a few of your articles and this one I just had to comment on. I am glad you are enjoying your college experience but also totally understand what you mean when you say:
“Traditional schooling is not the only way to succeed.”
And the next few lines you stated below that were priceless! I so support and agree with your ideas. As a former high school teacher, most may be shocked I am saying this, but the kids of the new world know more than many older people. And the best part about you/us is that we see through the system. Life is so much more than the right papers and bosses, so, so much more.
So enjoy whatever path you take. As long as you make your decisions consciously and from the highest place of yourself, you will not only succeed in life, but enjoy it immensely too
Hi Bud, this is so insightful! You’ve definitely learned a lot of important “life” lessons, and I’ve got to say, they’re pretty wise given your age. This is a great follow-up to your Exploring Freedom post, and I’ve been looking forward to it. Time management is key in college and a thing so many students struggle with. Your “mindset of connection” and the discovery that everyone needs alone time are really keepers for a life well-lived.
But what I really want to address here is that weighing out whether or not college is for you right now is one of the most important things you could be doing. Questioning society’s values and finding your own, ones that are TRUE for YOU, will lead you to the right decision, whatever that may be.
Cheers,
Miche
Knowing whether college is the right place for you is a tough one. In a way it is just a piece of paper, but there is also a great life experience that unfolds, and it’s one that won’t be repeated later on in life. Your entrepreneur spirit will serve you well in life, and that doesn’t require a degree, but I think you’ll find that college will enrich that spirit in ways you can’t quite understand at the moment. Just my two cents Bud!
“Traditional schooling is not the only way to succeed.” — well said, I wished I had had this thought when I was in school
It’s cool that you’re getting others to try and think for themselves.
Great article! I started school after returning from overseas and spending a few months in US Army hospitals. Needless to say, I was ready to do anything but be confined to a classroom setting. Marriage and a son put an end to my collegiate aspirations until I returned as a “non-traditional” student at the ripe old age of 34. I loved it, never had so much fun in my entire life, all of which was missed my first time around.
My advice:
1) Take everything BUT what you think you think you are going to major in and want to end up “doing” with the rest of your life. You will have your eyes opened up…big time!
2) Get an advisor who thinks young and listens to you, wants to get to know you, and CARES where you end up.
3) get involved in the active process of learning, do research, go out of the country and expand your horizons, reach for more than a GPA and a great job, reach for self-knowledge and awareness.
4) Take professors not classes. Never get bogged down in a class just because you think you must take it. If you have a bad prof, drop him before he ruins you and blows your mind.
Good luck, I really enjoyed the article, it took me back to my undergrad and then grad school days, BA to PhD bypassing the masters, and not too very long ago. I loved it, the rest was easy! Find your passion, time management will be a snap!
Professor John P. J. Zajaros, Sr.